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Stewardship of Singleness

by Christopher Sealey

Psalm 1:1-3:
Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. 

Fruit in the Bible represents good works in one's life that bring glory to God. In the Bible, the presence of leaves represent spiritual blessings or prosperity (Genesis 8:11; Ezekiel 47:12), and successful ministry (Revelation 22:2 - leaves for healing: ministry of healing). The presence of leaves on a fig tree means that the tree will bear much fruit. If you have a successful personal ministry, you will yield much good results for the Lord. If you lack a personal ministry, you will not yield any results for the Lord. You would recall from Jonah 4:5-6 that the Lord allowed a vine to grow and its leaves provided Jonah with cool shade and comfort. The absence of leaves represents spiritual or moral decay (Isaiah 64:6). From the biblical perspective there are really two seasons for leaves, summer and autumn. I would like to draw your attention to those two seasons for leaves.
 
Summer leaves are green and well attached to the tree. The greenness of the leaves come from the chlorophyll in them. Stephen Caney, famous children writer, in his white paper entitled “Why Leaves Change Color?’ wrote: “Once each year during the fall season the trees of many regions in America, and especially of New England, produce a spectacular color show that signals the death of the leaves and a dormant winter period for the tree. Trees, like all living things, need food and energy to live and grow. Leaves are a tree’s food factories.” The effective personal ministry of every member in the church is the church’s food factory – it is the mechanism God uses to feed and to grow the church.

Mr. Caney continues, “Water and minerals are supplied to the leaves through the tree’s root system and through a series of veins that go up the tree trunk, out the branches, and into each leaf. All leaves contain a green pigment called chlorophyll, which has the ability to absorb energy from sunlight and turn the water and minerals into a starch food for the tree. During the summer months when there are long days and warm temperatures, the leaves are busy making food, for the tree. When the tree is fed the leaves are in turn also fed.”

The summer leaves on the tree are not as beautiful to behold as the autumn leaves. However, the summer leaves are firmly attached to the tree and can withstand the strong winds and rain of summer storms. They do not fall off the tree as easily as autumn leaves. Members whose ministries are as green leaves are the most beneficial to the body of Christ. Just like the summer leaves are firmly attached to the tree, these members have a deep and rewarding relationship with the Lord. Paul recognized the benefits of effective personal ministry in the church and discusses a time or a state in our lives when we can be the most effective in personal ministry – being one of the greenest leaves on the tree. In 1 Corinthians 7:25-35 he discusses singleness in the context of ministry. About 43% of adults in North America are single; singleness is a way of life that the church must accept, respect and appreciate. The Bible highlights the spiritual benefits that the single members add to the body of Christ – the church.  At the time of Paul’s writing, there were several major doctrinal issues in the Church at Corinth:


a) The first issue – They believed that if you were “spiritual”, then perhaps no matter what you do and how you live, you will always belong to God. It’s the once saved always saved doctrine. (This explained the sexual immorality seen in Chapter 5 and 6). 
b) The second issues – they believed that if you were “spiritual”, then perhaps married people should just treat each other as brothers and sisters instead of husband and wife.
c) The third issue - if you were “spiritual” and your spouse wasn’t, then perhaps you should leave him or her to pursue God.
d) The fourth issue – they believed that if you were “spiritual” then perhaps the unmarried people should not even get married at all. Paul addressed this in Chapter 7.

Paul notes that he has no direct word from the Lord, but as an apostle he is writing under inspiration. This is not Paul’s opinion, in like everyone has an opinion; it is Paul the servant of the Lord’s counsel on this matter. Let’s review Paul’s points:

Point one: The primary focus of a person’s life should be Christ and how to please Him.

We are living in stressful and difficult times, which require that in whatever marital state we are in, we should focus on doing the will of God. In the sight of God, a person’s marital status does not define that person. So why should I put pressure on myself to be defined by my marital status. The person whose opinion matters the most does not put special focus on any particular marital status. God is only interested in us being connected to Him and having an effective personal ministry. Marriage was made for man and not man for marriage. A careful reading of Genesis 2:18,

Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him. (AMP)

reveals that God was saying that it was not good for this man (Adam) to be alone; therefore I will make a helpmate for this man. That wasn’t a pronunciation on all mankind – as some have erroneously taught. It does not mean that marriage is for everyone or that God’s will is that everyone be married. God’s desire is for everyone to be green leaves on His tree. I am the vine and you are the branches. The Vine doesn’t bear fruit or leaves; it is the branches growing from the vine that bear fruit and leaves. What’s the state of your leaves? Have you become so preoccupied with your singleness and getting hitched – that God is no longer your main focus? If that is the case then you are not a green leave but your leaves are in the season of autumn. I am a Christian first and then a husband and a father. I am a Christian husband who is also a Christian father. A single person is first and foremost a Christian – a Christian single.

Being single provides a person with definite advantages in having Christ as his or her primary focus. Amongst others, single persons can attend to the things of God without distractions. Marriage brings distractions. In 1Corinthian 7:32-34, Paul discussed these distractions. There are husbandly duties, fatherly duties, wife duties, and motherly duties. The single man is not distracted by the duties of being a husband or a father; the single woman is not distracted by the duties of being a wife or a mother. Since Paul advocates celibacy, parenthood would not be a distraction outside of marriage. I get the feeling that Christians today, just don’t understand what it means to serve the Lord and Him only. Because of the amount of distraction in the world, singles have lost the edge on us marriage folks. Singles are pre-occupied with getting married and the married are pre-occupied with getting single. Dr Lawrence Kurdek, a psychology professor at Wright State University, survey of over 500 couples revealed that most married couples experience a gradual but steady decline in marital quality over the four-year period after they tie the knot. In his article “The Ties that Unbind,” in a recent of Development Psychology, he wrote:

Newlyweds tend to wear rose-colored glasses at first, but reality kicks in after they see their partner drink from the milk carton or forget to take out the trash one too many times. Though happiness stabilizes after four years, it declines again around year seven. This dip is harder to explain, but may stem from the tendency to reexamine life as time goes on. Having kids is another factor: Pairs with biological children had lower marital quality than childless couples or those living with stepchildren. Caring for children may result in time taken away from the marriage. To prevent disappointment down the road, new couples should temper high expectations with a dose of reality; like any relationship, wedlock has its ups and downs.

That’s why Paul said he wanted to have us free of all anxiety in this world. Since marriage will not exist in heaven, some have concluded that they don’t want to experience hell on earth. They choose to remain single. Singleness is not loneliness! Loneliness is not restricted to singles alone. It has to do with relationship. A person can be married and still be lonely; and another is single but not lonely. People become lonely when they’re out of relationship or in an incorrect one. 

Point Two: When we fall out of a relationship with God, like autumn leaves we fail to produce.

Continue the reading from “Why Leaves Change Color?”

As the days of sunlight grow shorter and the weather becomes cooler, the leaf-factories begin to slow down until the process of making food stops completely. The green chlorophyll is no longer needed and slowly disappears from the leaves. The reds, yellows, and browns of fall foliage appear. Where do the colors come from? They were there all the time. Leaves contain yellow, orange, and brown pigments that are always present in the leaf but remain hidden by the strong chlorophyll green in summer. The colors appear only when the green chlorophyll fades. As the leaves turn color, the tree pulls any remaining food out of them, storing it to survive during the winter months. The red shades of some fall leaves appear when the sugar produced by the leaves gets trapped in them rather than returning to the tree. The sugar dissolves in the sap of the leaf and turns it red, orange, or purple. Some leaves have no color pigments except for the chlorophyll and just turn a dull shade of brown before drying up.

During autumn, the leaves of the trees are at their prettiest, but they are at the height of their inefficiency. They are dead leaves, which eventually fall from the tree to the ground. Drawing the spiritual lesson from autumn leaves, the spiritual man dies and the carnal man, which was there all the time, reappears. Autumn leaves do not produce or obtain food from the tree. The slightest wind will cause them to fall to the ground where they rot and decay. Christians who have become distracted from God fail to have a relationship with God. They do not receive wisdom from Him and they provide no glory to His name. They may look good to us, for we look on the outward appearance but God looks at the heart. Autumn leaves Christians have no effective personal ministry regardless of whether they are single or married. Paul counsels that it is easier for a married person to loose his or her relationship with God since the individual could find himself or herself in a situation where the marriage relationship becomes more important that the individual’s personal relationship with God. But a single person does not have such circumstances in his or her life, so he or she should use that period or state to be of maximum effectiveness for the Lord. As a single Christian, God expects you to function, in the body of Christ, as one of the greenest summer leaves does on a tree.

About The Author
Christopher Sealey
is the author of four published books on the topic of Christian stewardship. Several topical websites have rated him as an expert author on the topic of Christian stewardship. He has worked with several congregations to assist them with mortgage burning and building acquisition projects.


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